Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Why blog.......

Why I’m writing this blog……….

Well – I was told (insert eyeroll & sarcasm here) that I needed something for stress reduction. (Not sure why he can't just "buck it up and deal with it, but I'm sure he's right - don't tell him though, he already thinks he knows everything!)

No one reads this, let alone follows it – so it’s like that one friend that will let you bitch, moan, complain and get sarcastic with and just listen for all she is worth…… (PS – if you find her, please send her my way; I will be nice, I promise!)

Option #1 – drinking Blue Hawaiian’s till you fall on the floor is not compatible to an hour long commute in the morning. Not that I’ve ever tried it, but I have it on authority that it makes it really hard to get up early. (Trust – people – just trust on this one)
No homework involved ~ well – maybe a small taste test…….

Option #2 – will spontaneously blow up and explode if I don’t let some of these emotions out – the guys at work may not like that (did I tell you I am the ONLY female at our company….not pretty!)
Homework ~ check out the Kaiser manual – could be true – might not want to chance it

Option #3 – the Hostess guy will not deliver to my front door, neither will the Pepsi delivery driver – don’t really want to gain another 700 pounds – it makes it kinda hard to find tents in stylish colors (circus stripes are NOT slimming!)
Homework ~ see if bribes will help – might be worthwhile, would also have to check on custom tent makers……..

I need, NEED to find a community that understands my frustrations - I’m a NT living with a cute little boy and his very smart father – both of them on the spectrum. They think I’m the “odd one out”….ha – if they only understood!

So you see my dilemma – so many tough decisions and not enough options!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Why Light it up Blue???

Why we lit it up blue for Autism Awareness……….

We just received our diagnosis exactly two months ago to the day. Most would ask, why would you be so vigilant already, why would you already be active……….to be perfectly honest, I am still shell-shocked, I am still dealing with the grief, frustration, anger, sadness……….loneliness that I feel on this journey, but I have – HAVE - to remember this is going to be a long road ahead.

He knows that he has a new aide at school, so he knows something is up. I told him that Papa & him think differently – that they are so super smart, so talented, so wonderful, and that thinking differently was ok. (Thanks to all of the mommy bloggers out there for the helping words to explain!) He loves his papa, so if it is good enough for him, then it’s good enough for my boy.

It was hard to even ask to “light it up blue”……….I mean, how hard is it to ask for a blue light bulb….but yet, I’ve come to small terms with it – my husband has not. I have no idea, but maybe to him, it is like a beacon telling everyone “hey – this house has autism!”……….it still has a stigma – I so wish it didn’t.

That little blue light for me reminds me that I have to help my sweet little boy get past the stigma and make his way through the world. There is much work to be done – “blue – I will fight – for my boy and all of the other children out there”. I KNOW that so many others have fought the fight before us to get us where we are now; there are not enough words of thanks. But we now take up the mantle for the others and ones to come………for the 1 in 88…..for my little one……..for his future friends/classmates/loves……maybe even for his future wife – so she won’t have to struggle as much as I have……

And with this face…………how could you not???