Friday, August 17, 2012

Have a “Puke-tastic” Vacation!

I know, I know – you’re jealous - you are thinking to yourself “that sounds awesome – how can I get one of those too?”

Well, let me tell you – they are hard to come by people! 

See, I get one week of vacation a year.  Well, technically I get two, but as a mom with no sick time (you can see where this is going can’t you…) I get to use up that other one for random illnesses and stupid days where the schools don’t want to work their teachers to save some money – so yes – that totally reads “let’s use up my vacation days for that!”

Not to be bitter or anything like that (why no, I’ve never been accused of that), but the Hubs gets 5 – yes you read that right FIVE WHOLE WEEKS of vacation, PLUS sick time!!!!!!  I know – what the hell!  And what does he use that wonderful mind numbing amount of days on – I have NO FLIPPIN’ idea!  Most of it is not for the kiddo, so it’s pretty much whatever is fun for him – yes, must be nice.

Anywho – rant over (kinda – at least that part anyways), travel to last week.  We had planned a two day vacation away from it all.  I wish it could have been more, but ya’all know that times and finances are tough, so that was about all we could afford (read: not at all that we could afford, but $0 doesn’t get us anywhere).   We left Sunday night and went an hour or so away so that we could be close to a “Certain number of Flags, Animals included” park. The next day we woke up, fed the kid at free breakfast buffet and headed our butts over to the ride fest. 

I’ve got to say a few words about the day: it was fun, it was hot, my ass is too big to fit in kiddie rides (so my big fat ass didn’t ride any rides), and oh yes, it was hot.  Kiddo was less than impressed that we left the park before it was closed so that we could have a fabulous dinner with my sister that I rarely get to see and her beautiful family.  Lucky for them, I was absconding with her teenage girls the next day for another foray into the park.  Meltdown ensued until we got him filled with some food.  Then out of the blue he tells his cousin – “did you know that I have autism”………what…….that’s a new one.  She looked at me like – how the hell do I answer that one – oh honey – you are on your own with that one, because if I say anything, the coke I’m drinking will come out of my nose from laughter.  No, I have no idea why he said it and nothing else was said about it – whew!

So – I got off track – but whatever – you followed along didn’t you……..

After 2 days at said park (which really was fun) we got home sore – like “I can’t believe I am this old and I walked that much, my blisters have blisters” sort of sore.  I got drive-thru breakfast for all of us, since I had to go downtown for a minute anyways.  Kiddo ate said breakfast and then turned pale at approximately ½ hour later……threw up everything……  ARGH!  Ok, so maybe it was just too much fun for two days.  But then when he couldn’t even hold down water later in the day, “crap, crap, crap!”  Day one, well at least we have more days – no fever.  By day 4 – this is shitty – this is the worst vacation of all time – “I waited a whole flippin’ year for this?!?!?”  

Saying that trying to go to summer daycare on that Monday garnered a “this is the worst idea I have ever heard of” response to this.  I told hubs this as he was asleep in bed as I was leaving with our new found friend “the bowl” that had now come everywhere around the house with us with said kid.  I tried the “please keep him here with you” line, since he had an extra day of vacation, all to here “he will be fine” – (why yes, I was pissed at this point!!!)  Within 2 minutes of him getting there – yes, he threw up the sports drink that he had all of 3 sips of on the way.  He begged me to stay; even though he was as pale as a ghost and they didn’t know he had gotten sick– yes I’m totally winning the mother of the year award!  He made it all day – what a trooper – even though he was totally not “there”, he made it!

The rest of the week, he has greeted me at the daycare with “no throw-up today” – what fun!

Oh, and by the way – did I mention that this was me & the hubs 14th wedding anniversary???? How special and romantic for me!

Yes, this was the best vacation ever………………….ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha